As people with a chronic condition, we should ask ourselves: why feeling our condition as a constant struggle means so much to us?
It's easy to find reasons to single yourself out as someone especial, either in a good or really bad way, to deal with the struggles of mind. But why do we do that? Whats is the real need for life to be a constant struggle in order for us to feel special about ourselves?
This is probably a boring essay on loose questions to most people. However, I believe them to be important to uncover issues that underlie our human condition as individuals of our time --(yes, individuals whose capitalist, Christian background may, strangely or not, have a great deal of influence on such issues). I, for example, as a person with a chronic condition, have to deal with such questions on a daily basis. Not because I necessarily need to, but because I am not the kind of individual who likes to hide away from my thoughts or lie to myself to find a resolution to my problems or keep my imaginary identity untouched; on the contrary, I find such habits of men somewhat pathetic and useless. What is identity if not a fallacy? Everything changes all the time, including ourselves. Why lie about it or hold on to imaginary me's?
So, by being honest to myself, I ask. Why do I need to feel the struggle to live life in such a "especial" condition? Why such a condition, after labelled by a diagnostics, has suddenly become a property of mine to be aware of and respected by others? Should I hide this 'condition' in a cupboard of keeps and memories? Is it really a privilege to have property over such a thing or even over anything at all? Should I feel special for being "the one"?-- maybe not as the sole wizard on the whole world capable of defeating evil, but as a bearer of a somewhat unknown disease.
Yes, maybe I'm a communist. My blood has shown signs of redness and my mind attributes of negation of property and ownership. Maybe I should move to Venezuela or North Korea, although the latter is now BFFs with the USA, our model of great society and civilization. Perhaps, let's wait and see how things develop.
Christ our Lord has gone through so many hardships to attain his enlightenment and immortality that maybe that is what we are all supposed to follow. In life we are driven by the final reward, either financial, in the material plane, or in the afterlife, where ideally things should be better and peaceful, but in the afterlife only. All the other stuff that Jesus said doesn't really matter that much, because it all sounds unattainable in a world where we are all individually struggling with our individual minds and life.
How can we look at others when we are so attuned to our struggles? Struggles of self delusion, ideology and selection of choices, as fortunately there are many.
When someone comes to you with good intention on comparing diseases, "mine is worst than yours." -- You ask yourself "are you trying to diminish my experience?" Or "do you believe you have got a privilege?" I then cannot deny but ask about my own prejudices and racism. As it all comes to fear of loosing something, even if it is something you would rather really loose.
We are all ill. In an ill society. We all look toward a betterment of something outside of ourselves, when everyone knows that nothing good can come of a person who is not in peace with him or herself.
Sorry about the nonsensical litany. As they say and I repeat with a sacrifice "We always hear the same old thing: liberalisation of the markets requires sacrifices!"
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